Lady Saw Praying For Spice

It appears as if the former Lady Saw is having a hard time adjusting to her relatively new role as a Minister of the Gospel. Marion Hall has been engaged in clashes with female rivals that are fit for the stage of the recently relaunched ‘Sting’ dancehall extravaganza. In January this year, she made an altar call on Instagram in true dancehall style. This is how it ended: “God was merciful to wash me in his cleansing blood, and upgrade me to the upper room. I’m not going downstairs so the devils can laugh all the way to hell. Him and all of you who work for him. Come kiss out me Bible, so you can all get deliverance!”

The tradition of kissing the Bible goes back many centuries. A January 2020 article, posted on the Aleteia website, notes that, “Current practice in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church instructs the priest or deacon to kiss the book of the Gospels after its recitation. When in the presence of a bishop, cardinal or pope, the book will be carried to them and the highest ranking Church official will kiss the book instead.”

Up until the 13th century, it wasn’t only deacons, priests and top-ranking church leaders who kissed the sacred book. Every man, woman and child participated in the ritual. The book of the Gospels represented Christ. And the kiss of all members of the congregation signified love for the Saviour. The general kissing was eventually cut. It was like another communion line, stretching out the service.

Minister Hall’s seemingly sanctimonious appeal to alleged evildoers to repent is not as holy as it appears. It is that ‘out’ that gives her away. Marion Hall outs Lady Saw. The combative turn of phrase, “Come kiss out me Bible,” seems to be the deceptively pious equivalent of the familiar Jamaican curse words, “Come suck out mi pussy!”

The spiritual kiss appears to be a stand-in for the fleshy suck. Righteous testimony and oral sex seem to cunningly converge. Minister Hall has clearly not forgotten how to effectively throw words. Drawing on the repertoire of Lady Saw, she seems to turn the Bible into a lyrical weapon in her tracing match with all those who are tempting her to return to her ‘true’ calling in the dancehall.

DIVINE GRACE

In Minister Hall’s book, Grace ‘Spice’ Hamilton is, apparently, one of the evildoers who work for Satan. She, presumably, needs the deliverance that will come as the direct result of kissing out the minister’s Bible. Spice’s recent illness became the occasion for Marion Hall to offer an intriguing prayer on behalf of the dancehall superstar.

Beating her Bible, Minister Hall declares, “I don’t know why her mother named her Grace.” That’s not the end of the sentence. But this line seems to suggest that there is some doubt about the appropriateness of that name. She continues with a ‘but,’ contrasting Grace Hamilton’s name with the divine original:

“but Your grace, Your grace, God of Glory, has kept us. Your grace have [sic] given us chances after chances. I pray now, Deliverer, it doesn’t matter what she did to me, I pray now, God. You know, as I hold my hand up, I’ve never done evil to her. Never! I had loved her, God, I had loved her, God of Glory, with a pure loving heart. And I was there for her, God. You be there for her, God! Please God!”

Minister Hall reminds God about what Grace Hamilton did to her. She also declares her own innocence. Furthermore, she even-up herself with God, asking him/her to act towards Grace in the same loving way she did. This is pure vanity. Minister Hall’s prayer is really all about herself. If I was Grace Hamilton, I wouldn’t want Minister Hall to pray for me. It sounds a lot like Lady Saw a pray God fi Spice. And that’s definitely not a blessing. It’s a curse.

‘GO DOWN DEH’

I’m so relieved that Spice is recovering. She’s one of my favourite dancehall artistes. My online Zumba class tun up, an dial buck, when her big tune ‘Go Down Deh’ comes on. Nuff respect to my teacher, the Dance Doctor Tonya Martin! She’s a Pharmacy professor who knows the perfect prescription for keeping her students in shape. Dancing to music from all over the world! She’ll be hosting a Fitnescape in Treasure Beach in January. It’s going to be a blast. In July, ‘Go Down Deh’ hit over 100 million views on YouTube. Spice’s collaboration with Shaggy and Sean Paul is pure genius. Big up VP Records for promoting dancehall music to di max!

It’s most unfortunate that Spice chose to put her life at risk with cosmetic surgery. She previously revealed that she had done surgery to solve the problem of ‘slippers titty’. There was no need for Spice to go down deh. There are exercises that can strengthen the muscles surrounding the breasts. The result is visible uplift. Here’s a 10-minute routine that is guaranteed to do the trick.

It was widely rumoured that Spice recently went to the Dominican Republic for cosmetic surgery. In a post on Instagram last week, she revealed that she had ended up with sepsis, which is caused by bacterial infection: “As you know, I’ve been off social media for a while to rest mentally, so little did I know that during my medical scare, it was already been said that I had a heart attack, I was in a coma, and I also died, but none of that is true. However, I’m still recovering from what really happened, so thanks so much for all the prayers and concerns, please take great care of yourself, eat, live, love laugh, like it’s your last day. I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH.”

Spice’s gratitude for the prayers of her fans is heartfelt. And her loving admonition to us to take great care of ourselves is a far cry from the self-serving rhetoric of Minister Hall. There is an honesty in dancehall culture that is such a contrast to the bigotry of religious fundamentalism. Quite frankly, I much prefer Lady Saw to Minister Hall.

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