Never Mind Yaw, Novelette!

Ongle ting, yu never born wid no baton. Sake a dat, yu can form like seh yu a commissioner. Yu can act good-good. But dem nah gi yu di real-real commissioner work.
Ongl ting, yu neva baahn wid no batan. Siek a dat, yu kyahn faam laik se yu a komishana. Yu kyahn ak gud-gud. Bot dem naa gi yu di riil-riil komishana wok.
The one thing you lacked is it: you weren't born with a baton. So you can pretend as if you're a commissioner. You can act very well. But they're not going to appoint you as commissioner.

Pure white dolly fi Christmas

It grieve mi wen mi find out seh Jamaica a spend one billion dollar every year pon foreign hair.
It griiv mi wen mi fain out se Jamieka a spen wan bilyan dala evri ier pan farin ier.
I was appalled to learn that Jamaica imports one billion dollars' worth of foreign hair every year.

Those Backward Adventists

It seems as if ordination requires a higher level of sanctity than mere commissioning. And women are, apparently, unable to achieve this level of holiness. Men are genetically disposed to piety, it would seem. But the evidence is disputable.

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