Time for Jamaican Language Day

On Easter Monday, I went to a party for one of my friends who recently retired from banking. There was a very high concentration of former NCB managers. They exchanged entertaining stories about the early days when black people started to break through the glass ceiling of upper management at the old imperial Barclays Bank.

After much liquor had flowed, one of the men cornered me. This was not a sexual advance. It was purely academic. He wanted to discuss a subject on which he was sure we disagreed. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, he wanted to know why I was against Jamaican children learning English; and why I was proposing that Patwa be used as a language of instruction in school. He proudly told me that his daughter was fluent in several languages and was teaching English in Japan. He even phoned her and we had a quick chat.

I asked my interrogator why he thought I didn’t want Jamaican children to learn English. He couldn’t give a straight answer. He vaguely said that’s what he’d picked up from the media. And he simply didn’t understand my position, especially since he knew I had a PhD in English. As far as he was concerned, I was either wicked or mad. Wicked because I was selfishly knocking down the ladder I had climbed. I didn’t want others to get the opportunities I’d had. Or I was mad because I wanted to lock Jamaican children out of the world of English, a global language, and imprison them in a local language, Jamaican.

WASTE OF TIME

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The fact that I’ve been teaching English for more than 40 years didn’t matter. So I patiently explained that I actually do want all Jamaican children to learn English. And other languages as well! I also want them to learn the differences between English and Jamaican. And that’s where the trouble starts.

For many educated Jamaicans, Patwa is not a language. It’s nothing but ‘broken’ English. Calling this non-language ‘Jamaican’ is pure foolishness. Teaching children the differences between Jamaican and English is a waste of time. Just focus on teaching them English! Forget about their home language! That’s how we’ve been teaching English for decades and it certainly has not been working. There are many tertiary-level students who are not competent in English.

Shouldn’t we be trying other methods if we really want all of our children to learn English? A few years ago, I taught a basic English course for staff at one of our commercial banks. I carefully pointed out differences between the grammar of English and Jamaican. At the end of one of the classes, an attentive man asked, “Why nobody never teach us like this before?” Perhaps, because the Ministry of Education is satisfied with the status quo.

HIT OR MISS

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Last Sunday, a group of us went to Cable Hut Beach. It’s no Pearly Beach. The sand is black, like the patrons. And it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to get in: only $200 for adults and $100 for children. The property is being refurbished and the restaurant building is not completed. It’s a beautiful, grand hut with a magnificent view out to sea.

So we went to Corn Shop at Nine Miles where we got delicious roast fish and sprat. I am not putting no ‘ed’ on ‘roast’. It’s Jamaican! As we were ordering our food, a nice gentleman started up a conversation. Same story: Why aren’t Jamaican children learning English these days? Is it because of all this emphasis on Patwa?

He learned English the painful way. English grammar was drilled into him. For many Jamaicans of a certain age, John Nesfield’s Manual of English Grammar and Composition, first published in London in 1898, was the bible that opened the pearly gates into high society. It was widely used both in England and the colonies.

Things and times have certainly changed. Even in England, there are now huge debates about the effectiveness of teaching old-school grammar. One of the problems is that many teachers of English there have not learned the grammar of the language in a systematic way. So their teaching is hit or miss.

Most of our primary-school English teachers have an even harder time. English is their second language, not their first. They don’t know it intuitively. And many of them have not been efficiently taught the structure of English. Their teaching of the language is more miss than hit. And we’re surprised that students are not learning English.

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

Celebrating-Language-UN-English-Language-DayLast Sunday, April 23, was United Nations (UN) English Language Day. The UN website states that Language Days were established in 2010 “to celebrate multilingualism and cultural diversity, as well as to promote equal use of all six official languages”. These are, in alphabetical order, Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian, and Spanish.

April 23 was chosen for English because it’s both the birthday and deathday of William Shakespeare, England’s most celebrated dramatist. Conspiracy theorists claim that he didn’t write all those plays. All the same, these long-lasting literary works demonstrate the beauty and power of the English language.

Every country has its own great writers. In the spirit of cultural diversity, let’s make September 7 Jamaican Language Day. It’s Louise Bennett-Coverley’s birthday. As she would say, “Every dog got im day an every puss im 4 o’clock.”

Never Mind Yaw, Novelette!

Two spelling systems are used for the Jamaican language below. The first, which I call ‘chaka-chaka’, is based on English spelling. The second, ‘prapa-prapa’, is the specialist system designed by the Jamaican linguist Frederic Cassidy. It has been updated by the Jamaican Language Unit at the University of the West Indies, Mona. After the two Jamaican versions, there’s an English translation.

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

No teck it personal, mi dear! Di man dem no ready. Dem no waan no woman commissioner. Dem no have di balls fi dat. It look like seh dem fraid woman a go put dem out a commission. Dem done know seh nuff time, di best ‘man’ fi di job a one woman. An it stick inna dem craw. Dem cyaan tek it. Wi gweh ha fi go wait one long long time fi one woman turn commissioner a police inna disya country.

Novlette-But yu set di pace an wi proud a yu. A no fi yu fault mek yu no get di work. Yu do everyting yu suppose fi do. Yu go a university. Yu study hard. Yu pass all a yu exam dem. Yu join police force becau yu know eena yu heart a heart seh yu can do di work. Yu understand di system. From top to bottom!

Ongle ting, yu never born wid no baton. Sake a dat, yu can form like seh yu a commissioner. Yu can act good-good. But dem nah gi yu di real-real commissioner work. Wat a piece a liberty! An plenty a di man dem weh born wid baton, dem cyaan do di work good like yu!

Dem tek woman fi eedyat! Dem tink seh dem can fool wi up. An wi no know wa a gwaan. Di lickle acting work nah hold wi. Wi done know how dat go. A consolation prize. A con dem a try con wi. Dem gi yu consolation before dem tek weh di big prize. Dat a after dem done build yu up, mek yu feel seh yu well qualify fi di work. If it fly go a yu head, yu all figet seh yu no got no nightstick. Yu start tink seh yu have a chance.

‘BET ON NOVELETTE’

All Gleaner get ketch! Pon February 19, dem publish one front-page story wid disya big-big headline, ‘Bet on Novelette – Acting police commissioner poised to be appointed to lead the force full-time’. A no Caymanas Park wi deh! Dis a no horse race. Dis a police work. Wi no ha fi a bet! Yu well qualify fi di job an yu suppose fi get it. Anyhow, hear wa smaddy tell Gleaner wid dem goat mouth:

“‘Ms Grant was appointed to act in the post but it appears that it was a test run and she has passed with flying colours,” one source told our news team.

“‘She has always enjoyed the respect of her colleagues, but in the time she has been acting she has convinced most persons that she has the mojo for the job.'”

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Well, Ms Novelette, yu mighta got ‘mojo’. Dat a one African word fi obeah. But still for all, yu no got no baton. An di way di ting set, fi yu obeah cyaan beat di man dem inna disya time. Dem got big stick over yu.

Mi glad fi si seh di woman organisation dem big yu up eena one letter weh Gleaner publish last week Tuesday: ‘Women laud Novelette Grant’. Dem seh, “As a woman who is one of the highest-ranking officers in a traditional male-dominated organisation, the JCF, yours is without a doubt a monumental achievement, and we hold you in the highest regard.”

A no ongle woman ‘laud’ yu, Ms Grant. Nuff man wid conscience know seh yu well deserve di commissioner work. Yu coulda more dan manage it. Never mind, yaw! Time longer dan rope.

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

No tek it porsnal, mi dier! Di man dem no redi. Dem no waahn no uman komishana. Dem no av di baalz fi dat. It luk laik se dem fried uman a go put dem out a komishan. Dem don nuo se nof taim, di bes ‘man’ fi di jab a wan uman. An it stik ina dem kraa. Dem kyaahn tek it. Wi gwehn a fi go wiet wan lang-lang taim fi wan uman tun komishana a poliis ina disya konchri.

Bot yu set di pies an wi proud a yu. A no fi yu faalt mek yu no get di wok. Yu du evriting yu sopuoz fi du. Yu go a yuunivorsiti. Yu stodi aad. Yu paas aal a yu egzam dem. Yu jain poliis fuors bikaa yu nuo iina yu aat a aat se yu kyahn du di wok. Yu andastan di sistim. Fram tap tu batam!

Ongl ting, yu neva baahn wid no batan. Siek a dat, yu kyahn faam laik se yu a komishana. Yu kyahn ak gud-gud. Bot dem naa gi yu di riil-riil komishana wok. Wat a piis a libati! An plenti a di man dem we baahn wid batan, dem kyaahn du di wok gud laik yu!

Dem tek uman fi iidyat! Dem tingk se dem kyahn fuul wi op. An wi no nuo wa a gwaahn. Di likl aktin wok naa uol wi. Wi don nuo ou dat go. A kansolieshan praiz. A kan dem a chrai kan wi. Dem gi yu kansolieshan bifuor dem tek we di big praiz. Dat a aafta dem don bil yu op, mek yu fiil se yu wel kwalifai fi di wok. If it flai go a yu ed, yu aal figet se yu no gat no naitstik. Yu staat tingk se yu av a chaans.

‘BET ON NOVELETTE’

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Aal Gleaner get kech! Pan Febieri 19, dem poblish wan front-piej stuori wid disya big-big edlain, ‘Bet on Novelette – Acting police commissioner poised to be appointed to lead the force full time’. A no Caymanas Park wi de! Dis a no aas ries. Dis a polis wok. Wi no a fi a bet! Yu wel kwalifai fi di jab an yu supuoz fi get it. Eniou, ier wa smadi tel Gleaner wid dem guot mout:

“‘Ms Grant was appointed to act in the post but it appears that it was a test run and she has passed with flying colours,’ one source told our news team.

“‘She has always enjoyed the respect of her colleagues, but in the time she has been acting she has convinced most persons that she has the mojo for the job.'”

mojo+2Wel, Ms Novelette, yu maita gat ‘mojo’. Dat a wan Afrikan wod fi uobia. Bot stil far aal, yu no got no batan. An di wie di ting set, fi yu uobia kyaahn biit di man dem ina dis ya taim. Dem gat big stik uova yu.

Mi glad fi si se di uman aaganazieshan dem big yu op iiina wan leta we Gleaner poblish laas wiik Chuuzde: ‘Women laud Novelette Grant’.

Dem se, “As a woman who is one of the highest-ranking officers in a traditional male-dominated organisation, the JCF, yours is without a doubt a monumental achievement, and we hold you in the highest regard.”

A no ongl uman ‘laud’ yu, Ms Grant. Nof man wid kanshens nuo se yu wel disorv di komishana wok. Yu kuda muor dan manij it. Neva main, yaa! Taim langa dan ruop.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

NEVER MIND, YOU HEAR, NOVELETTE!

Don’t take it personally, my dear! The men are just not ready. They don’t want a female commissioner. They don’t have the balls for it. It seems as if they’re afraid women are going to put them out of commission. They do know that lots of times, the best ‘man’ for the job is woman. And they can’t get over it. They just can’t deal with it. We’re going to have to wait a very long time for a woman to become the commissioner of police in this country.

But you set the pace and we’re proud of you. It’s not your fault you didn’t get the job. You did everything you were supposed to. You went to university. You studied hard. You passed all your exams. You joined the police force because you knew deep down that you were qualified to do the job. You understand the system. From top to bottom!

thThe only issue is you weren’t born with a baton. So you can pretend as if you’re a commissioner. You can act very well. But they’re not going to appoint you as commissioner. That’s just outrageous! And lots of the men who were born with a baton can’t do the job as well as you!

They think women are idiots! They think they can trick and we won’t know be any the wiser.  The acting job won’t cut it. We know what that’s about. It’s a consolation prize. They’re trying to con us. They gave you consolation before you lost the main prize. That’s after they sang your praises and made you think you were very well qualified for the job. If you made it go to your head, you would even forget that you don’t have a nightstick. You would start to think that you really stood a chance.

‘BET ON NOVELETTE’

Even the Gleaner was caught out! On February 19, they published a front-page story with this huge headline, ‘Bet on Novelette – Acting police commissioner poised to be appointed to lead the force full-time’. We’re not at Caymanas Park! This isn’t a horse race. It’s police work. We don’t have to be betting! You are well qualified for the job and and you’re supposed to get it. Anyhow, here’s what a source told the Gleaner, putting a jinx on you:

10-flying-colours-logo.jpg“‘Ms Grant was appointed to act in the post but it appears that it was a test run and she has passed with flying colours,” one source told our news team.

“‘She has always enjoyed the respect of her colleagues, but in the time she has been acting she has convinced most persons that she has the mojo for the job.'”

Well, Ms Novelette, you might have ‘mojo’. That’s an African word for obeah. All the same, you don’t have a baton. And the way things are, your obeah can’t beat the men in these times. They’ve got a big stick over you.

I’m glad that a coalition of women’s organisations honoured in a letter published by the  Gleaner on April 18: ‘Women laud Novelette Grant’.  They said, “As a woman who is one of the highest-ranking officers in a traditional male-dominated organisation, the JCF, yours is without a doubt a monumental achievement, and we hold you in the highest regard.”

It’s not only women who ‘laud’ you, Ms Grant. Many men of conscience know that you truly deserve the job of commissioner. You could have more than managed it. Never mind, you hear! All things in their time.

Who Is Regulating the OUR?

The director general of the Office of Utilities Regulation (OUR), Ansord Hewitt, responded quite quickly to the four questions I emailed him about consumer protection in the telecoms sector. His email went to spam, so I didn’t see it until after I’d written last week’s column, ‘FLOW giveth and FLOW taketh away’.

It’s just as well. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the OUR adequately then. It needed a whole column. So here’s my first question: Can dissatisfied FLOW customers file a class-action suit against Liberty Global? The response:

“The Office of Utilities Regulation (OUR) is not in a position to answer that question definitively, although, to be perfectly candid, we are reluctant to offer specific legal advice on what recourse is available through the courts, as much depends on the nature of the claim and the remedy sought. That said, however, we are not aware that a class-action suit is a recourse that is available in this jurisdiction.”

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That’s typical bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo; or sound legal advice. Take your pick! I say mumbo-jumbo. I wasn’t asking for a definitive answer or specific legal advice – just general guidelines. And, surely, the OUR should be ‘aware’ of whether or not a class-action suit can be filed in Jamaica.

My second question: If so, how? The response: “See response to question 1.” My third question was: Are there any laws that protect consumers against utility companies that fail to deliver the services for which they are paid? I got a very lengthy five-part response, covering all utilities. I can’t quote it in full.

Here’s the section that’s most relevant: “As regards the ICT sector for which the OUR’s remit is limited to voice telephony and data services, there are no existing guaranteed standards.” Really? We would never have guessed. The director general elaborates:

“The assumption after liberalisation was that given the robust competition that existed within the sector, most consumer’s issues [sic] would have been addressed via the competitive response. The indication, however, is that this has not been the experience of most customers and so there is need for further measures.”

A DISGUISED MONOPOLY?

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The director general of the OUR is absolutely right. Consumer issues have not been solved by competition. Perhaps FLOW and Digicel aren’t really competitors. Could it be that they are actually a disguised monopoly? Six of one and half a dozen of the other! Or, to use a local idiom, both FLOW and Digicel giving us a six for a nine!

Mr Hewitt does promise a solution. I hope it’s not the proverbial comfort to a fool: “Consequently, the OUR, even while intervening on a case-by-case or situation-by-situation basis to address ICT customer concerns, is pursuing a number of initiatives to provide consumers with better options for redress. These are detailed as part of the response to question 4 below.”

My final question: If not, what is being done to put such laws in place? I got another five-part answer. Again, I cannot quote it in full. In essence, Mr Hewitt confirms that the OUR has actually proposed rules to guide the sector. But guess what?

“Drafting instructions for these rules have been passed to the Ministry of Science, Energy and Technology (MSET) for submission to the Office of the Chief Parliamentary Counsel who will convert them into regulations. Once these are promulgated, they will have the force of law and can be enforced by the OUR.”

The final version of the drafting instructions was submitted by the OUR only last month. Why has it taken so long for the regulatory process to get to this stage? Who is benefiting from the present state of affairs? Certainly not the consumer!

TELECOMS PIRATES

a-raja-pirate1Why have successive governments failed to pass appropriate legislation to protect us from the telecoms pirates? We cannot allow ourselves to be constantly raped by ‘service’ providers whose only intention is to hold down an tek weh. On Tuesday, I got an email with a link to a letter in the Barbados Nation, headlined ‘Paying for service I do not receive’. It was a familiar complaint against FLOW:

“I fully understand that I am one of thousands of Barbadians who complain daily about the services provided to them by FLOW. … I suspect, though, that this letter will not move FLOW to improve its services to their customers.”

I immediately emailed CARICOM’s Caribbean Telecommunications Union (CTU) to ask what is being done about the long-standing problems with FLOW across the entire region. I got an earnest response from a spokesperson of the CTU, which included the following:

“The CTU would encourage regulators across the region to be more vigilant and firm in enforcing the provisions of the licence under which service providers operate. This is particularly so with the recent consolidation that is taking place since the liberalisation of the sector in the mid-1990s. Their emphasis must be heavily weighted in the consumer’s interest. They must ensure that the consumer is getting a fair deal at affordable cost.”

This was not reassuring. Encouragement is not enough. Regulatory bodies cannot function efficiently without the necessary legislation. When Liberty Global, the owners of FLOW, demands more money for its services, what is the Jamaican Government going to do? Raise taxes? Don’t get me started on that!

FLOW Giveth and FLOW Taketh Away

Blessed be the name of FLOW? Hell, no! FLOW isn’t giving the Jamaican consumer a damn thing. We are paying premium rates for a less-than-premium product. And something has got to be done about it. Last Wednesday, I’d had enough of FLOW’s bite-and-blow customer disservice.

I called the Office of Utilities Regulation (OUR) to find out how dissatisfied customers could file a class-action suit against Liberty Global. Many of us don’t seem to know that it was Cable & Wireless that bought FLOW, not the other way around. I suppose some sensible executive realised that FLOW was a better brand than sour LIME and retained that name.

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And Liberty Global bought Cable & Wireless. A Gleaner article published on Friday, March 31 reports that, “Large cable operator Liberty Global, the owner of FLOW, wants its regional businesses to generate more cash, and has set them a target of US$1.5 billion.” We had better watch out. Liberty come from carelessness. We might soon be paying far more for even less.

MY FAIRY GODMOTHER

Both the general counsel and the director general of the OUR were in a meeting. I left my old LIME number, which is now working. Believe it or not, bright and early Sunday morning, I got a call from FLOW. It was my fairy godmother who said that a technician would be coming to fix my phone later that day.

I suppose I should have been happy that, after a month or so, the service was going to be restored. Instead, I was outraged. It seemed as if I was being given preferential treatment because of my column published that same day, ‘FLOW’s stagnant channels’.

I asked about all those other customers who are being exploited by FLOW. When are they going to get back service? And I referred to a tweet in response to the column: “All across Jamaica, sounds of ‘um huh’, in agreement with @karokupa.” The technician did come and left this note: “I found the problem on the pole and repaired same. Please call me if you have any queries. Thanks for your continued faith in us.”

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Faith in FLOW? What’s faith got to do with it? FLOW is not a church. And many churches place a much higher premium on customer satisfaction than FLOW. They ensure direct access to God, who answers prayers.

According to the New Testament, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It seems as if it’s FLOW that has faith in us. The company seems to be hoping that in the absence of evidence that it is actually giving us what we pay for, we will stick with it until the end of time.

SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT

On Tuesday, my fairy godmother sent another technician to restore the channels that were temporarily off the air. The first question I asked was if the van was leaking oil. He said no. By the time he finished fixing the channels, there were patches of oil in the driveway. About a one-foot square! And talking of square, I must correct an error in last week’s column. I omitted ‘square’ in my summary of Einstein’s famous equation.

My ‘faith’ in FLOW didn’t last long. By Wednesday, there was a new problem. I had paid for a package on my old FLOW line that allowed me to make flat-rate land and cell calls to the US. When I tried to make a call, I got this message, “International calls are not permitted from this number.”

So now my options for making calls to the US were to pay extra from either my old LIME phone or my cell phone. How could this possibly be acceptable? After mi cuss two bad word, I called my fairy godmother. She promised to investigate the matter. Service was restored by Friday. Why should I need a fairy godmother?

That’s how I ended up calling the OUR. The director general returned my call and I followed up with an email in which I asked four questions: Can dissatisfied FLOW customers file a class-action suit against Liberty Global? If so, how? Are there any laws that protect consumers against utility companies that fail to deliver the services for which they are paid? If not, what is being done to put such laws in place? I haven’t got any answers as yet.

Then, I discovered that the following notice from FLOW does not tell the whole story: “Due to broadcast restrictions, we are unable to air the current programme on this channel. Please check your local listing to determine the availability of this programme on another channel.” You can certainly get programmes like ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’ and ‘Modern Family’ on another channel. But definitely not on FLOW! Digicel bought the rights. Right under FLOW’s nose!

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By the way, Digicel is purchasing its off-island capacity to provide Internet service from FLOW. Since the companies are wrapped up in bed, you would think they could be generous enough to include all their customers in the happy union. And allow us access to all programmes! But, no! It’s all about competition. And the biggest loser is the customer. It seems as if the OUR needs to set up a Special Victims Unit to protect us from both Digicel and FLOW.

FLOW’s stagnant channels

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Last January, I wrote a column with the headline ‘FLOW + LIME = minus zero’. One of the most humorous responses was this: “Your LIME/FLOW equation must be the most accurate since Einstein’s famous solution!” What Albert Einstein discovered is that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. And so his revolutionary equation: E=mc2.

You don’t have to be a genius like Einstein to know that something is fundamentally wrong with phone service in Jamaica today. The energy it takes to make a simple call is massive. And you certainly can’t do it at the speed of light. There is nobody I know who is not having some sort of trouble with telephone and Internet ‘service’.

For the last month or so, my old LIME line has been out of commission. First, there was a terrible, crackling sound when the phone was answered. If I was lucky, I could figure out who it was and ask the person to call back on my FLOW line. After a few days, even the crackling stopped. Complete silence!

I’ve called that dead number several times just to see what happens. The phone rings and then you get the voicemail prompt. But LIME voicemail is a thing of the past. I keep getting this recording, “This number does not subscribe to a voice mailbox service. Please try your call again later.”

I did subscribe to this service for which LIME charged a fee. But the service has been withdrawn without explanation. I would call 958-5858 to retrieve calls as usual and the number would be constantly busy. And when I call my LIME number on my FLOW phone, I can hear that the phone is not, in fact, ringing! There’s no service. No calls out; no calls in.

WHITE DOG FOR MONKEY

As for FLOW’s cable service! One-third of the channels, I occasionally watch have not been available for quite some time – including TVJ. What appears on the screen is this message: “Temporarily off the air. Please check back later. …” I just love that ellipsis, those three dots which mean that there is an omission of words.

punctuation-marks-ellipses

This is how Wikipedia defines an ellipsis: “Depending on their context and placement in a sentence, ellipses can indicate an unfinished thought, a leading statement, a slight pause, an echoing voice, or a nervous or awkward silence. Aposiopesis is the use of an ellipsis to trail off into silence – for example: ‘But I thought he was …’ When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing.”

Well, I’m definitely feeling melancholic about those suspended channels. I’m longing for them to come back. But it looks as if that’s not going to happen any time soon. I’m paying for a service I’m no longer getting. It’s on-air robbery. And it seems as if FLOW feels absolutely no melancholy about cutting off these channels.

There’s just awkward silence. FLOW is offering no discount on the fee it charges for its stagnant channels. It’s quite a stink. The problems are widespread in my neighbourhood. And there’s nothing we can do about it. Except to switch to Digicel. And that’s swopping white dog for monkey, as I’ve been hearing. Same old problems!

MURKY DEALINGS

Then one of the edgy comedies I watch now and then, Modern Family, is no longer available. What comes up is this message:

“Dear Customer,

Due to broadcast restrictions, we are unable to air the current program on this channel. Please check your local listing to determine the availability of this program on another channel. Thank you for understanding.”

modern-familyThe modern families include a male couple parenting a little girl. Did one of our right-wing Christian groups lobby the Broadcasting Commission to take the show off the air? I could almost hear the fire and brimstone consuming Sodom and Gomorrah. But the restrictions had nothing to do with the commission.

During a call to FLOW last week, I was told that they do not have the broadcasting rights for the programme. Had FLOW been illegally selling a service all along for which it had no rights? What kind of murky dealings was the company engaged in?

And FLOW needs to come clean about all those stagnant channels. They are not temporarily off the air. Well, it depends on how FLOW defines temporary. For me, a day or two is temporary. Not an entire month. It looks as if these channels will not be flowing any time soon.

There’s another mess FLOW needs to clean up. More than a month ago, one of those huge backhoes tore down electricity and cable lines in my neighbourhood. Within a day, electricity was restored; and, soon after, cable service. But the old cable wire is still lying in the street. There must be at least 200 feet of cable. Why has FLOW not bothered to remove the waste? It’s not a good sign.

Unlike so many of my neighbours, I’ve not had too many problems with Internet service. I’ve been very lucky. It should not be a matter of luck. Consumers should get what we pay for. All the time! But it did strike me that after posting this . . .

Derek Walcott’s loose tongue

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In 1970, Derek Walcott wrote a philosophical introduction to a collection of his plays. The title of the essay, What The Twilight Says: An Overture, is intriguing. There, Walcott recalls his youthful days in St Lucia learning the craft of writing in the 1940s.

“I sighed up a continent of envy when I studied English literature, yet, when I tried to talk as I wrote, my voice sounded affected or too raw. The tongue became burdened, like an ass trying to shift its load. I was taught to trim my tongue as a particular tool which could as easily have been ordered from England as an awl or a chisel … .”

Theatrically, Walcott puts on the mask of a young man struggling to find his tongue – both voice and language. But the accomplished poet is no longer tongue-tied. The mature Walcott demonstrates his complete mastery of the language of English literature, both sound and substance. The ironic tension between what is recalled – the raw tongue – and how it is called to mind – the images tripping off the tongue – that is the pleasure of Walcott’s craft.

‘FAR ABOVE ITS SUBJECTS’

In What The Twilight Says, Walcott gives a frank account of his lifelong quest to fashion a literary language that sounded like his natural speaking voice. He confesses his alienation from the very subjects of his poetry, his own St Lucian people: ” . . . The voice of the inner language was reflective and mannered, as far above its subjects as that sun which would never set until its twilight became a metaphor for the withdrawal of Empire and the beginning of our doubt.”

tight_knotsThat’s quite a tight knot of images. Hear how I unravel it: the “inner language” of Walcott’s poetry is like an absentee landlord distantly imposing authority on its subjects. In the very act of “reflective and mannered” writing about his people – his subjects – the poet assumes the imperious pose of coloniser.

But Walcott is also forced to subject himself to the demands of the language of empire. Language is the medium of ideology. It summons the ghosts of the past. As an agent of literary domination of his own people, the poet himself becomes implicated in the imperial enterprise.

ASININE FICTIONS

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The setting sun of empire does not automatically allow the Caribbean intellectual to find his tongue. The poet as colonial subject often becomes the victim of self-doubt. Can he speak for himself? Is he ready to play the lead role in the drama of his own life? Or must he continue to inhabit the asinine fictions of congenital inferiority?

By contrast, the vast majority of Caribbean people have no such anxieties. They simply refuse to trim their tongue. Walcott’s St Lucian subjects and their confident cousins across the region are, quite often, well aware of the distance between the patriarchal language of empire and their nurturing mother tongues.

As our own Jamaican poet and public intellectual Mutabaruka so wickedly observes, “The language we talk we can’t write; and the language we write we can’t talk.” Mutabaruka speaks to the compounded failure of the educational system in Jamaica to a) teach literacy in the mother tongue, Jamaican; and b) ensure that all students can, in fact, competently speak the official language of literacy, English.

A SEDUCTIVE MISTRESS

Spellbound by the English literary tradition, the youthful Walcott is, at first, unable to loosen his tongue. Eventually, he stops playing the ass. He finds another language to express the full range of his artistic sensibility. Walcott writes about this discovery in the third person:

“On the verandah, with his back to the street, he began marathon poems on Greek heroes which ran out of breath, lute songs, heroic tragedies, but these rhythms, the Salvation Army parodies, the Devil’s Christmas songs, and the rhythms of the street itself were entering the pulse-beat of the wrist.”

The theatre of the street is a seductive mistress who lures the poet from his more respectable muse. Or, at the very least, forces the muse at home to dance to a different beat. Pure slackness! And that potent image of rhythms in the wrist confirms the value of literacy as a medium for transmitting and transforming oral knowledge.

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The imported tools of empire made the young Walcott envious, alienating him from his own culture. He would later claim both English and his own St Lucian Creole as intimate languages to voice his distinctive Caribbean identity. Derek Walcott has written 24 volumes of poetry, 25 plays and several other books. He has received numerous awards, including the Nobel Prize for literature. His tongue and wrist became very loose indeed.

Derek Walcott is the most celebrated creative writer to have studied in the Department of Literatures in English (formerly, just English) at the University of the West Indies, Mona. Generations of poets, playwrights and novelists were cultivated in that department. It’s a roll call of distinction.

Edward Baugh, Mervyn Morris, Slade Hopkinson, Jean D’Costa, Velma Pollard, Dennis Scott, Rachael Manley, Wayne Brown, Rawle Gibbons, Kendel Hippolyte, Robert Lee, Merle Collins, Kwame Dawes, Curdella Forbes, David Heron, Marlon James, Tanya Shirley, Ishion Hutchinson, Kei Miller, Joanne Hillhouse, Ann-Margaret Lim and so many more! The poet/dramatist is dead. Long live poetry, drama, fiction and all the arts!

Jehovah Witness Big Up Fi Wi Language

JLUTwo spelling systems are used for the Jamaican language below. The first, which I call ‘chaka-chaka’, is based on English spelling. The second, ‘prapa-prapa’, is the specialist system designed by the Jamaican linguist Frederic Cassidy. It has been updated by the Jamaican Language Unit at the University of the West Indies, Mona. After the two Jamaican versions, there’s an English translation.

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

watchtower_2010454aAnytime mi go Papine Market pon Saturday morning, mi see bout four Jehovah Witness a gi out tract. Dem tush, yu see! Dem sit off pon chair eena shady an dem have one stand weh dem put out di tract dem pon. One morning mi go faas wid dem. Mi aks dem a wa kind a easy-life witnessing dem a do. Wa mek dem nah walk up an down eena sun-hot like dem odder one? Di whole a wi start laugh.

Anyhow, one Saturday, one a di woman dem tell mi seh dem a go keep big meeting an dem waan mi fi come. A one special meeting cau di speaker a go chat pure Patwa. Unu see mi dying trial! Any Patwa bell ring mi suppose fi di deh. Mi promise her seh mi wi try come. Mi never write down di date an it fly outa mi head.

Den mi go pictures a Sovereign an mi meet one next set a Witness from August Town Kingdom Hall. Dem tell mi seh pon February 26, di preacher a go chat Patwa so mi fi come. Dem mek sure dem send email fi remind mi. Mi no ha no excuse.

Di meeting a di said same day a di opening a di Biennial a National Gallery. So mi run downtown fi ketch piece a dat, den mi go a August Town fi ketch piece a di preaching. An mi go back downtown fi ketch piece a di Grounation weh di Jamaica Music Museum put on fi Reggae Month. A pure piece a dis an piece a dat fi di whole day. Dat night, mi lucky fi ketch di whole a di Jamaica Reggae Industry Association (JaRIA) award show.

TO DI WORLD!

Di Jehovah Witness preacher did gwaan good-good. Lickle English did mix up wid di Patwa. It no so easy fi some a wi chat so-so Patwa eena certain situation. Den mi get one next email from di Witness dem a tell mi bout di Patwa talk dem weh deh pon dem website, jw.org. Yu click pan ‘Publications’. Den yu go a ‘Books and Brochures’. Den yu pick ‘Jamaican Creole’. An a wi dat.

Unu fi go listen. A 9 talk di deh. See di topic dem ya. An dem all write eena prapa-prapa spelling. Mi change it over to chaka-chaka: Yu tink pain an suffering a go done one day? Wa yu tink a go happen inna di future? Wa a di main ting fi mek yu fambili happy? Di kingdom a God – a wa? Who really a control dis ya world ya? Wa yu tink bout di Bible? Weh wi can find answer fi di question dem weh worry wi di most eena life? Yu tink seh dead people can come back alive? Listen to God an yu wi live fi ever!

change-the-world_0.jpgDi Jehovah Witness dem know seh yu ha fi preach to people eena fi dem heart language if yu waan fi reach dem heart. An some a fi wi heart well hard. It tek whole heap a preaching fi mek it soft. A long time now nuff preacher eena Jamaica know how fi use fi wi heart language fi touch people. If yu go certain church eena disya country, a pure Patwa yu a go hear.

A more an 750 language Jehovah Witness a use fi spread fi dem message. Dem know seh English a one worl language. But a no di ongle language eena di whole world. A nuff a dem. An Massa God know di whole a dem. Mi glad fi see Jehovah Witness a help carry fi wi God-bless language to di world!

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

Enitaim mi go Papine Market pan Satde maanin, mi si bout 4 Jehovah Witness a gi out chrak. Dem tush, yu si! Dem sit aaf pan chier iina shiedi an dem av wan stan we dem put out di chrak dem pan. Wan maanin mi go faas wid dem. Mi aks dem a wa kain a iizi-laif witnisin dem a du. Wa mek dem naa waak op an dong iina son-at laik dem ada wan? Di uol a wi staat laaf.

Eniou, wan Satde, wan a di uman dem tel mi se dem a go kip big miitn an dem waahn mi fi kom. A wan speshal miitn kaa di spiika a go chat pyur Patwa. Unu si mi daiyin chraiyal! Eni Patwa bel ring mi sopuoz fi di de. Mi pramis ar se mi wi chrai kom. Mi neva rait dong di diet an it flai outa mi ed.

Den mi go pikchaz a Sovereign an mi miit wan neks set a Witnis fram August Town Kingdom Hall. Dem tel mi se pan Febieri 26 di priicha a go chat Patwa so mi fi kom. Dem mek shuor dem sen iimiel fi rimain mi. Mi no a no ekskyuuz.

Di miitin a di sed siem die a di opnin a di Biennial a National Gallery. So mi ron dountoun fi kech piis a dat, den mi go a August Town fi ketch piis a di priichin. An mi go bak dountoun fi kech piis a di Grounation we di Jamaica Music Museum put aan fi Reggae Month. A pyur piis a dis an piis a dat fi di uol die. Dat nait, mi loki fi kech di uol a di Jamaica Reggae Industry Association (JaRIA) awaad shuo.

TU DI WORL

il_340x270.683382019_i7g3Di Jehovah Witness priicha did gwaan gud-gud. Likl Ingglish did miks op wid di Patwa. It no so iizi fi som a wi chat suoso Patwa iina sortn sitiyieshan. Den mi get wan neks iimail fram di Witness dem a tel mi bout di Patwa taak dem we de pan dem websait, jw.org. Yu klik pan ‘Publications’. Den yu go a ‘Books and Brochures’. Den yu pik ‘Jamaican Creole’. An a wi dat.

Unu fi go lisn. A 9 taak di de. Si di tapik dem ya. An dem aal rait iina prapa-prapa spelin: Yu tingk pien an sofarin a-go don wan die? Wa yu tingk a-go apm iina di fyuucha? Wa a di mien ting fi mek yu fambili api? Di Kindom a Gad – a wa? Uu riili a kanchuol dis ya worl ya? Wa yu tingk bout di Baibl? We wi kyan fain ansa fi di kwestiyan dem we wori wi di muos iina laif? Yu tingk se ded piipl kyan kom bak alaiv? Lisn tu Gad an yu wi liv fi eva!

Di Jehovah Witness dem nuo se yu a fi priich tu piipl iina fi dem aat langgwij if yu waahn fi riich dem aat. An som a fi wi aat wel aad. It tek uol iip a priichin fi mek it saaf. A lang taim nou nof priicha iina Jamieka nuo ou fi yuuz fi wi aat langgwij fi toch piipl. If yu go sortn choch iina disya konchri a pyur Patwa yu a go ier.

A muor an 750 langgwij Jehovah Witness a yuuz fi spred fi dem mechiz. Dem nuo se Ingglish a one worl langgwij. Bot a no di ongl langgwij iina di uol worl. A nof a dem. An Maasa Gad nuo di uol a dem. Mi glad fi si Jehovah Witness a elp kyari fi wi Gad-bles langgwij tu di worl!

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES CHAMPION OUR LANGUAGE

Anytime I go to Papine Market on  a Saturday morning, I see about four Jehovah’s  Witnesses  giving out tracts. They are so sophisticated! They’re seated on chairs in the shade and they put out the tracts on a stand.  One morning, I nosily asked them how come they were taking it so easy with their witnessing. Why weren’t they walking up and down in the sun like other Witnesses?  We all started to laugh.

Anyhow, one Saturday, one the woman told me that there was going to be a big meeting that she wanted me to attend.  It was quite special meeting because  the speaker was going to talk in only  Patwa. You see my troubles! Anytime there’s a  Patwa issue, I’m supposed to be involved.  I promised her I would try to attend.  I didn’t make a note of the date and it completely escaped me.

Then I went to the movies at Sovereign and met some other Witnesses from the August Town Kingdom Hall. They told me that on February 26, the preacher was going to be speaking in Patwa so I should come. They made sure to send an email to remind me. I had no excuse.

The meeting was the very same day of  the opening of the  Biennial at the National Gallery. So I hurried downtown to get a bit of a that, then I went to  August Town for a bit of the  preaching. And I went back downtown to catch a bit of the the Grounation put on by the Jamaica Music Museum in Reggae Month. It was only bits and pieces for the entire day. That evening, I was lucky to catch all of the Jamaica Reggae Industry Association (JaRIA) award show.

ReggaeMonth

TO THE WORLD!

The Jehovah’s Witness preacher did very well. A little bit of  English got mixed up with the Patwa. It’s not so easy for some of us to speak only Patwa in certain situations. Then I got another  email from the Witnesses telling mi about the Patwa recordings on their website, jw.org. You click on ‘Publications’. Then you go to ‘Books and Brochures’. Then yu select ‘Jamaican Creole’. And that’s us.

You should check it out.There are  9 recordings there. Here are the topics. And they are all written in the official writing system for Jamaican. I’ve translated them into English: Do you think  pain and suffering will end one of these days? What do you think the future will bring? What’s the main thing to make your family happy? Di kingdom a God – what’s that? Who really controls this world? What do you think about the Bible? Where can we find answers to the questions that  worry us the most in life? Do you think dead people can come back to life? Listen to God and you will live for ever!

The Jehovah’s Witnesses know that you have to preach to people in their  heart language if you want to reach their heart. And some of our hearts are quite hard. It takes a  whole lot of  preaching to make it soft. Many preachers in  Jamaica have long known how to use our heart language to touch people. If you go to certain churches in this country, all you’re going to hear is nothing but Patwa.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses  are spreading  their message in more than 750 languages. They know that English is a world language. But it’s not the only language in the whole world. There are many of them. And God recognises all of them. I’m glad to see that Jehovah’s Witnesses are helping to take our God-blessed language to the world!